


Phobia

by MarbleHornet9



Category: Marble Hornets
Genre: Anxiety, Fear, Gen, Marble Hornets - Freeform, Phobia, angsty in parts, jam if you tilt your head a little bit, jay merrick - Freeform, so i guess an undertone of jam?, tim and jay working together, tim wright - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-16
Updated: 2015-10-16
Packaged: 2018-04-26 14:44:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5008717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarbleHornet9/pseuds/MarbleHornet9
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When you're running for your life, you're bound to have a few fears. Whether you let your companion help you with those fears is up to you.</p><p>A Marble Hornets fanfiction that will try to stick as close to canon as possible, centering around Jay and Tim helping each other with their fear.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Phobia

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfiction contains swearing, depictions of anxiety, and extreme fears. If that sort of thing makes you uncomfortable, then please turn back now.

“We should head back.”

“What? Why?”

“It’s getting dark…” Tim shivered, running his hands up and down his arms. The old building they were at, which jay begged him to go to for some forsaken reason, barely held warmth at the best of times. But it had been raining the previous night, and the dilapidated old place was colder than ever. Jay fidgeted impatiently, adjusting his grip on his camera. Tim often said that it was more like an extra limb, considering Jay carried it everywhere he went.

“But... We haven’t even explored half of this place yet. It’ll only take about half an hour, maybe a bit more-“

“In half an hour, it’ll be pitch black outside. We need to leave _now_.”

“Tim, just listen to me…”

Tim felt his anger spiking, clenching his hands into fists. “No, we need to fucking _leave,_ ” He growled, something akin to desperation flickering behind his eyes. It was gone before Jay could dwell on it, though. Jay was faced with two decisions- Refuse, and face the potentially dangerous man in front of him, or oblige and return to the hotel they had rented with absolutely nothing to show for a day’s work. Neither of them seemed particularly appealing.

“Five more minutes, okay?”

Tim grit his teeth, forcing his hands to unfurl and crossing his arms. “Fine. But no more.”

If his situation wasn’t so dire, Tim could have laughed at Jay’s look of relief. He reminded Tim of a little kid, begging to stay up for just five more minutes, just until I finish this picture! Or, “just a little while longer, I need to watch this tv show!” Or, “But I can’t sleep mommy, the tall man will get me!”

 _‘I wonder what it was like where Jay grew up,’_ Tim mused as he shuffled after the lanky man in front of him, pointing his camera at every speck of dust or paint flake. _‘He never talks about it. I wonder if he misses it?’_

Tim screwed up his nose in disgust as he was forced to step over the rotting corpse of a rat. It wasn’t the domestic kind, either- Large, with inch long teeth and matted fur. Hopefully they wouldn’t come across any live ones-

“Shit!”

Tim flinched, yanked out of his thoughts as he stumbled back. “What?! What is it?!” Tim looked around frantically- A hooded man?! An attacker?! Alex?!

Jay had nearly knocked into him in his haste to step back, camera pointed up at a crumbling part of the wall. A crow stared down at them, before dropping the twig it had just flown in with onto its nest. Tim shot a glare at Jay. “It’s just a bird.”

“Yeah, well, I didn’t know-“

“Well pay more attention next time!” Tim snapped, storming ahead, pushing past Jay and ignoring the man’s guilty expression. He was being harsh, but dammit, he just wanted to get back to the hotel! Why did Jay always have to be so pushy, running around with his ridiculous camera, pointing it in everyone’s faces? Through the hole in the ceiling that the bird had come in from, Tim had glanced at the sky- It was almost night, the sky was a dark blue. Being out in the middle of a forest during night-time was the very last thing Tim wanted right now.

“Tim, wait!” Jay’s footsteps echoed behind him, progressively getting louder until they fell into rhythm beside Tim. Tim kept his jaw set, staring straight ahead, not slowing his pace.

Jay paused, as if waiting for Tim to say something. When he realised that Tim was probably not in any position to start a conversation with, Jay cleared his throat, opening his mouth to say something, only to have Tim cut him off.

“Did you bring the torch?”

“Wha- Yeah, it’s here…”

“Give it to me.”

“Why? What are you doing with it?”

“Knocking you out if you don’t shut up and just give it to me.”

“…Right,” Jay sighed, rustling in his jacket pocket, pulling out a cheap torch he’d brought from the service station. Tim snatched it off him, flicking it on and off to reassure himself that it worked.

Jay adjusted his cap out of habit, chewing on his tongue as he glanced at Tim. He was tense, gripping onto the torch for dear life. Something was wrong, he was even more prickly and alert than usual- But Jay was never the best at comforting. Or anything to do with social conventions, really. And the same went for Tim- So communicating about their feelings was an almost non-existent situation. He looked up at Tim again- Wait, Tim was looking at him expectantly, eyes cold and mouth turned down into a scowl.  
Jay sucked in a sharp breath, blinking. “Sorry, what?”

“I said, are we done here?”

“Oh, yeah, I guess… I guess we aren’t going to find anything here.”

“Thank fucking Christ…” Tim muttered, speeding up and heading down a different hallway towards the exit.

Jay took one last sweeping look around, before pointing the camera at his own face and grimacing. He pointed it back at the floor, jogging to catch up with Tim, who was standing still in the doorway. Peering over his shoulder, Jay frowned. “…What? Why’d you stop?”

“I told you. I told you it would be dark!” Tim glared at Jay with all the burning anger he could muster, making the taller man flinch away slightly.

“Tim, it’s okay, it’s only about twenty minutes’ walk to the parking lot-“

“You don’t get it!”

“Get what? Maybe I’d get ‘it’ if you actually told me what you were thinking for once!”

“Like you can talk…”

“I can talk, because I’m not secretly running around in some freaky mask at night!”

“Fucking take that back!”

Their voices were raised, disturbing the quiet forest that swayed around them. Jay sighed in frustration, he knew he’d overstepped the line. But arguing right now was just wasting time, it was getting progressively darker. “Look, we should go-“

“Not until you take it back!” Tim suddenly lunged at Jay, giving the man no time to squirm away as he was pinned roughly against the wall, air knocked out of his lungs and camera clattering to the floor.

Tim looked like a madman, practically snarling at Jay, who cowered down on instinct, shying away from confrontation. “Tim, stop-!”

“No! Why don’t you listen to me for once, without pointing that stupid thing in my face! I warned you, that it would get dark out here but you refused to give in because of your little _obsession_ -“

“It’s not an obsession!”

“-Yes it is! You don’t sleep at night, you don’t think I notice? You’re either up on your computer or pacing around whatever hotel room we have! And if that isn’t an indicator, then the bags under your eyes are! You haven’t been eating, and you always have a distant look on your face whenever we’re not doing anything remotely related to your ‘investigation’!”

Jay stared at Tim’s shoulder, unable to make eye contact. It was the truth, he just hadn’t realised that Tim was that observant. Either way, Tim’s hands around his wrists were starting to hurt, and Jay grimaced when Tim tightened his grip. Tim must’ve noticed, because he hesitated, eventually letting Jay go and stepping away, hugging himself.

Jay rubbed his wrists, silent aside from his wheezing as he tried to catch his breath. There was a long moment of nobody moving, until Jay crouched down and picked up his camera, examining it. He let out a breathy sigh of relief- No damage done, and it was still filming. Well, there was a small chip on one side- But nothing detrimental. All the same, Jay felt a spike of what felt like fear as he noticed it. Maybe Tim was right- The camera was more like a limb than an object. The torch was still on the ground, it had rolled about a meter away. Tim didn’t look like he was making any move to pick it up, too busy hugging himself with one arm and biting his nails.

Jay shuffled over to it, picking it up and tentatively walking over to Tim, holding it out to him. Whatever Tim was going through wasn’t his fault- Even if Jay’s aching back and wrists probably needed some sort of ointment now. Tim glanced at him, then down at the torch being offered to him. He hesitated, swaying back and forth, before biting his lip and taking it. He wasn’t quick enough for Jay to not notice the shaking of his hand, which was much more apparent when Tim switched the light on and the beam of light bounced unevenly.

“Do you… Want me to hold it?”

“No.”

Jay nodded, deciding to not push him. After a few seconds of Tim steadying his hand, he pressed forward, looking for the path that would take them back to the parking lot. Jay followed, falling into line behind him.

After a few minutes of wandering around aimlessly, Jay spoke up. “…Tim?”

“What!?” Tim snapped, tensing, shoulders hunched.

“…Do you know where the path is?”

“Of course I do!”

“I was just asking-“

“It has to be around here!”

Jay sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. So Tim didn’t know where they were. “Look, maybe we should head back to the building-“

“What?!”

“We could get lost out here in the dark!”

“…you’re suggesting we spend the night here.”

“…Well, yeah…”

“Are you crazy?!” Tim spun around to face him, knuckles white where he gripped the torch.

Jay backed up in what he hoped was a show of nonviolence. He didn’t need a repeat of before. “I don’t want to be out here as much as you! But can you think of anything better?”

“Yeah, looking for the goddamn path!”

“Tim-“

“What if that… That… Thing shows up!? What then?!”

“It could show up at the hotel, too! We’re no safer out here!”

“I… Just… No! We need to find the path!”

“Tim, you’re being irrational!”

“No!” Tim was shaking like a leaf, and there was definite fear in his eyes. Jay was scared too- The idea of spending the night in a crumbling old hallway made fear curl inside him, icy and relentless. But Tim’s fear ran deeper than Jay’s. Jay frowned, taking a step towards him as Tim took a step back.

“Come on Tim. It’ll be okay…”

“No it won’t!”

Jay shifted from foot to foot nervously, glancing down at the camera in his hands, and back up to Tim. “Let’s… At least go back into shelter so we can try and discuss where to go, okay?”

Tim looked scared at this, glancing over his shoulder as though considering making a run for it.

“…Tim?”

Oh.

“Tim!!” Jay yelled, bolting after him.

Of course Tim would run, Jay should have expected that. But did he have to run now? They’d only get more lost.

“Tim, Tim wait!”

No reply. Jay paused, panting as he spun around on the spot, yelping as something brushed against his leg. Stumbling back and bumping into a tree he let out a squeak, running forward for a few paces before tripping on a jutting out tree root and falling onto his side, letting out an ‘oof!’, He groaned, putting a hand on his head, trying to ignore the ringing and sound of blood pumping through. He lay there, curled up, gripping his head and waiting until the pain subsided. Slowly, the normal forest sounds came back- Wind rustling the leaves, a few birds that Jay had awakened twittering angrily as they settled back down to roost, sobbing- Wait, sobbing? Jay strained his ears to listen for that sound- There it was again, a faint yet distinct sob.

Pushing himself to stand and screwing up his face in pain as another wave of dizziness hit, Jay looked around and tried to get his eyes to adjust to the darkness. “Tim?” he whispered, picking up the camera and slowly making his way toward the sound. As his surroundings became easier to see, Jay spotted a familiar figure curled up at the bottom of a tree trunk, in a ditch. “Tim?” He repeated, a bit louder, hesitantly approaching. What if it wasn’t Tim? Even worse, what if it was Tim, but wearing the mask?

His fears were quelled as Tim’s tear-stained and blotchy red face looked up at him, another sob wracking his frame.

“Oh, Tim…” Jay muttered, sliding down carefully until he was in the ditch beside Tim.  
The larger man shifted away from him, tensing, and Jay didn’t move any closer. He knew that Tim needed space. “Tim, what’s wrong?” ‘Apart from being stuck in the middle of a forest- God, I suck at this,’ Jay thought cynically, biting his lower lip nervously.

Tim opened his mouth to speak, only for another sob to burst forth, prompting Tim to bury his face in his hands, shaking. Jay glanced around, adjusting his cap. Swallowing, he inched closer and slowly started rubbing comforting circles into Tim’s back. Jay’s mother always used to do the same for Jay if he came home from school crying his eyes out, or if he’d stubbed his toe on the doorframe.

Tim flinched away at first, but let him after second thought. His sobs slowly subsided at the friendly touch, a familiar ache for kindness keeping him still. A few minutes of silence, punctured only by Tim’s occasional sobs, passes- until Tim speaks. His voice was uncertain and fragile, quavering as though it might break if not treated gently.

“...I’m scared.”

“So am I-“

“No, I… I mean, of the d-dark…”

Jay blinked in surprise. “…What?”

Tim looked away, as though ashamed.

“I mean, it’s completely normal, I’m just surprised,” Jay backtracked, not wanting to make the situation any worse. It seemed he was quite good at that, if the past few years were anything to go by.

Tim heaved a sigh, looking back at Jay with bloodshot eyes.

“But… You sleep at night when it’s dark in the hotels…” Jay questioned, suddenly confused.  
Tim scoffed, staring at the ground and fiddling with the miscellaneous forest litter underneath them. “Not really.”

“But… You always look asleep.”

“I’ve been doing it for a long time now. Often the doctors at the hospital wouldn’t stop watching me until I was asleep- Even though, back then I used to sleep with a light. But my hallucinations were worse then, so... I guess I've ever really gotten a full night’s sleep, except during college… But even then I had nightmares…”

Jay felt a pang of sympathy. Tim looked so exhausted and miserable, sitting hunched over, his face still fresh from his crying. He looked so utterly defeated that Jay couldn’t resist leaning in and wrapping his arms around the others shoulders in a hug.

Tim flinched, eyes wide, shocked, before slowly returning the embrace. It was awkward and strange, since neither of them were very used to nor appreciated much physical contact, but somehow it just made it more genuine- The knowledge that the other was just as nervous. They parted quickly, with Jay clearing his throat awkwardly as Tim went back to staring at his shoes.

They both jumped when something flew overhead, probably a bat, and Tim’s breathing quickened again, hands starting to shake more as he traced patterns in the dirt.

 _‘Shit,’_ Jay thought worriedly. _‘He’s going to have another attack…’_

What were you supposed to do in situations like this? Distract the other person? But how? Not when the thing they fear is all around them, inching its way into every crevice. If only there was a source of light-

“Where’s the torch?”

“…I dropped it,” Tim breathed out quickly, glancing at Jay guiltily.

Never mind, then.

“…That’s… That’s fine, we can just buy a new one,” _‘if our budget allows it…’_

“Jay?”

“Uh, yeah?”

“What was it like- Your childhood?”

“Oh, uh…” Jay had a mental blank, staring at Tim dumbly. Obviously Tim was thinking about the distraction technique too, because he had his eyes closed, palms of his hands gripping his own knees tightly at he leant back against the tree trunk. “Well, it was… Good. I uh, lived on a farm.”

Tim focused on his words, hanging onto them like they were being spoken from Shakespeare’s mouth himself.

“We had… A lot of different animals… And, there was this one duck, a drake actually, that… That used to follow me around, and I’m pretty sure he thought I was his duckling… He would let other kids and women go near me, but never any men…” Jay chuckled a tiny bit, more so a nervous cough. “I think he felt like he wanted to protect me, or something…”

Whatever Jay was doing, it was working. Tim’s breathing was slowly regulating, and his hands weren’t clutching onto the denim fabric of his pants so tightly. Jay wracked his brain for anything else he could say that might help. “And, I remember he’d always nip at my legs- Not… Not enough to hurt, it was more like an affectionate kind of thing…”  
Jay continued to talk, pausing every now and again to think of something to say. He’d never spoken this much in his entire life- When they got back to the hotel he’d have a long rest of talking. After around two hours of reminiscing and unwanted nostalgia on Jay’s end, he was startled to hear a small snore coming from Tim. Sighing in relief and thanking whatever forces had decided to help him, Jay curled up on his side of the ditch, closing his eyes and feigning sleep until he drifted off as well.

Jay groaned quietly and he was jolted out of his dreams, sensing movement beside him. Well, dreams was an exaggeration- More like nightmares. It was the same dream that he’d had a while ago- Alex, no eyes, in the forest…

He let out another groan as someone nudged him. Opening his eyes a crack and flinching away from the light that hit his eyes, Jay was suddenly very aware of where he was, bolting upright and nearly knocking heads with Tim. Tim flinched away, rolling his eyes. “It’s just me.”

“Oh,” Jay ran a hand through his hair, dirt and leaves matted in it. “It’s… morning.”

“Yeah,” Tim muttered, standing up and stretching. “How’s the camera?”

Jay looked at it, laying in the dirt innocently. Picking it up and examining it, he found that it had been turned off. He had no idea how long it had been like that, or if the footage was okay- anxiously pressing the ‘on/off’ button and watching as the screen lit up. His heart dropped into his stomach as he reviewed the footage.

“Well?” Tim was looking down at him expectantly, leaves clinging to the flannel he wore.

“It’s… corrupted…”

“Huh?”

“I mean, the footage is just static, someone must have tampered with it and that’s why it was off…” Jay trailed off, looking up at Tim and noting his alarmed expression. “We should probably get out of here.”

Tim nods, chewing the inside of his cheeks as he stepped out of the ditch, looking around for any sort of danger. Finding none, he kept walking. Jay scrambled out after him, trying to keep up with Tim’s strides. It was hard to believe that this man was a mess not even twelve hours ago. It made jay think- How long had Tim been doing this? Pretending that he was okay? _'I guess he's still wearing a mask, even if it's not physical...'_ Jay thought to himself sullenly.

The two walked in silence until Tim stopped, jay nearly bumping into him. Shooting Tim a questioning look, Jay tilted his head and followed his gaze. On the ground in front of them was the flashlight, a bit battered but still in one piece. Tim picked it up, flicking it on and off- The beam was a bit weak, but at least it was still functioning. Tim let out a quiet sigh, tucking it into his pocket, stepping forward to continue walking.

“Hey Tim.”

He paused, glancing at Jay over his shoulder.

“We uh, we can sleep with the light on tonight. And, any other night, if you… If you want.”

Tim looked mildly surprised, but quickly hid it. “Thanks.”

Jay shrugged, looking down at his camera as an excuse to not talk anymore. Tim took the hint, continuing to walk in silence, listening to Jay’s loud footsteps behind him. He hurried his pace when he saw the gravel path ahead of them, resisting the urge to shout out in relief. Following it, it wasn’t long before the two came to the parking lot, basically running to the car and throwing themselves in. They sat there for a moment, before glancing at each other, prompting Tim to start the car engine and pull out of the lot, towards the relative safety of the hotel.

 

_"The real enemy is fear- We think it is hate, but it is fear."  
-Ghandi _


End file.
